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This night, I was his date to his departmental dinner. Harry was dressed in a black tux, no tie, no suit, just ironed black pants and his polished black shoe. Since his place was closer to the venue, I met him there. Bridgette gave me the advice, the one that was getting harder to heed to everyday. The one where she told me to lock it up because he wasn't my boyfriend anymore. I had laughed at her tone, but as I stood in front of him that night, I prayed for forgiveness because I knew I was going to sin. His pupils looked darker, it was the same way they had looked last two months when we were still a couple and he'd kiss me in bed. The way he looked at me now was exactly how he looked at me when he'd spread my legs open with just his knee. I tightened my hold on my black purse. "You look really good." His voice pierced into whatever wall of silence that had enveloped us. I simply smiled back in response. "You ready?" He asked after he ...

STAY HAPPY, STAY SAFE, DON'T PANIC.

March 24, 2020

These days more byes are said and it's scary. Everybody's traveling, leaving each other's sight to a place they feel is safe,. For most of us, that is home, even if it logically isn't safe. I love it when we crack jokes about our newest rival, covid-19. I love to see the memes, I love to crack petty jokes about the pandemic, I love it when I'm with friends and we're all saying we aren't scared at all when in reality we are a second away from having that mental breakdown. Even if we aren't scared for ourselves, we're scared for those loved ones, we're scared for our parents that are more vulnerable to it. We're scared we might never have a chance to blow, or do couple goals with our husbands and wives...( this one is not my hand writing o) , or see our children and how stupid or smart they would become. I see right through our jokes. When our lips strain from the laughter, it whispers the panic for a slight second. When we say we ar...

WHAT IS LOVE?

March 19, 2020

What is love? I could say love is when he looks at you, when he holds your hands, love's everything he was but he did it because it was also beneficial to him. Love's putting someone first, being selfless, stupid for a person. But then, you could love yourself and be selfish, would that still be love? Dang, I'm hitting a spot in your brain. I could say I've experienced love before, because they said it'd make you happy, beautiful, wanted, and everything pretty. I once felt those things. Love made me happy, and tore me apart. I'd stand in front of the mirror and stare back at my red eyes, the colour believed to denote love, was that why my eyes were red? Love brought me happiness and also sadness. It ended in tears, just like they said it would. * inserts sad laughing emoji if that exists.* I went ahead and made a conclusion. Love is beautiful, sad, happy, confusing, and confusing. Love is many things, but most of all, Love is beauti...